Posted by: Soh
Wrote a reply to someone regarding experience, realization, actualization:

An experience is simply an experience but there is no lasting insight. There are many types of experience... non-doership, I AM, nondual, no mind, etc etc. They come and go. (And then there are corresponding insights and realizations at each of those level)

Realization on the other hand is not a glimpse. Say, the realization of anatta, when it happened for me the sense of an agent, background observer, or even 'awareness' is completely gone and in the whole of waking life is effortlessly and naturally pervaded with this luminous taste as it is seen that 'in hearing only sound, no hearer', there is no awareness/hearing besides the luminous sound, so there is just this pure unfiltered cognizance that is none other than sound presenting itself on its own in its complete directness, vivid, clear, incredible aliveness and luminous intensity, and likewise 'in seeing only scenery, no seer', ..... etc, which leads to an intimate.. no... gapless experience of everything which is simply happening and being aware where they are without a referencepoint, a vantagepoint, from which they are looked at. Everything is intensely 'aware' where they are without a center or agent. There is both intense luminosity and a sense of release.

In the whole of waking life, this has become a natural after realizing anatta. Even before realizing anatta there were glimpses of that, where by intently listening to a sound, or looking at a scenery, or dancing, to the vanishingpoint of subjectivity leaving only pure sensation, which often comes with a "Wow!" as if I have entered into another dimension or state but will eventually exit out of it, however, it was not the natural or effortless state as there is not yet there is still the obscuration of self-view which prevents the effortless and natural dissolution of self/Self, thus that dissolution remains a peak experience or fleeting glimpses. But when the mind realizes that there isn't an observer and the way things are, there is no effort, just in seeing, only forms and colors and in hearing, only sounds, all very natural and effortless. When the veil is gone, there is naturally no obstruction and everything becomes most direct and clear without gap. There is no issue of 'entering' or 'exiting' from a state, there is no entry or exit.

Even though after anatta it becomes effortless and natural and becomes sort of perpetual in the waking state, at the very initial phase one may still notice dulling after the initial 3 months of intense peak experience. By dulling I don't mean that the sense of an observer or self/Self has obviously returned, it just means the intensity apparently becomes less intense. That too will be overcome after some time especially with deepening insights and practice. Another issue is that it may still not enter into the sleep, but eventually one will start to experience that.

Regarding realization -- realization can never be lost once realized. But whether it is 'fully actualized' is another question. If you are fully actualizing that realization, then all traces of self/Self/inherency are completely released in actual taste... and as I said the taste is not simply of a freedom, but it is opening another mode of perception*. Usually in waking state it happens first then it enters into sleep states.

*(Somebody asked me about actualization again today, I referred to something Thusness wrote about actualizing anatta in real-time experience:

"Just like the case we talk abt designations come "live", u must know that in anatta, it is not just the freedom that comes from seeing through self -- the release; it is also not a mere dry mode of being non-conceptual but an insight that opens the floodgate that turns everything "alive". Sound is clean, clear, brilliance, transparent and it turns "alive". This new direct mode of perception enables us to touch the "heart" of whatever arises."

Living in this 'mode' of insight in real time experiences be it in sitting, walking, working, sleeping, is actualizing. Yes, even in sleep it can be actualized.

Then there is actualization of twofold emptiness, and the actualization of total exertion.)

But even when it is realized that there isn't any awareness/observer besides the sensations and manifestation and there is no more sense of duality, one still has yet to penetrate 2 folds. The "absence/emptiness" of appearance/sensations/dharma will still be understood as some ultimate true existence (sensations) undergoing the phase of arising, abiding and ceasing in a flickering instant. The depth of 2-fold emptiness in terms of insights and actual taste will not be there. Spaciousness and Illusion-like emptiness will not permeate one's entire being in actual experience.

And this is where realizing the non-arising nature of naked sensation is important, what I wrote:

"In deep contemplation, it can become apparent in direct experience and insight that all appearances are merely appearances, nothing arising or staying or ceasing... there is no actual birth of anything. Just like no matter what images appear on the movie or in a dream it will never amount to anything more than an appearance, without anything that truly come into existence. This is different from resolving non-arising through being-time. Lastly it is not that things are mental projections but that they are dependent arising.. what dependently originates is empty and nonarising appearance... momentary suchness, but still as vivid.

It is with some reluctance that I'm sharing this... I'm afraid that writing this might be a disservice to readers. I shall refrain from posting and discussing further about this. I do not wish this to become merely something to talk about, it has to be seen in direct taste and insight... so that one knows what the experience is like and what the realization is. Spouting big words or philosophizing about this do not mean anything."
1 Response
  1. Says:

    Such descriptions are also a form of motivation for practitioners persist in their practice. So thank you very much